Thursday, December 9, 2021

Dollar General Heist

 A few years back at the Dollar General in Euclid, you may recall when I reported how I saw a woman stuffing her face and purse in the candy aisle. I stopped her midafternoon snack in its tracks. She was not happy, and neither was today's backpack packer.

Today I bring you - 

                                            Dollar General Caper Part Two

I usually shop at the DG by my house in Wickliffe, but since I was close to the one in Willowick, I decided to stop there.

I enter, and as I do, a young woman scampers out with two over bulging backpacks, the alarms sounds, the cashier has her mouth open, and I report I think she just walked out without paying? The cashier says, yes, I am calling the cops now.

Not wanting to see my town turn into episodes of the streets of San Francisco I told the lady I am on it.

I follow the panicked freeloader into the lot. Just like a nervous mouse, she dodged in and out of cars while yelling something at me which I needed an Ebonics translater to help me decipher the muffled sentences laced with F's and U's.

I  get on my  flip phone, call the cop shop and tell them about this scenario that is being played out.

The dispatcher said we have cars arriving, but where is she at?

We are now on the side of the store, we are now in the back of the store, she now tossed the backpacks by the dumpster... a live play by play any sports announcer would be proud of.

Two patrol cars storm in with sirens blaring and nab the Grinch who stole from Dollar General.

I went back to DG to do my shopping. I was checking out when the cashier and two customers thanked me. I replied I am tired of this. We need to protect our country. 

On the other register was the patrolman who apprehended the no gooder unpacking the backpack.

I never knew you could fit that many pairs of sock in a backpack? 20, 30, all I know there was a lot.

Was this the modern day little old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn't know how to sock? Was she going to go around hanging socks from everyone's chimney? 

We will never know, but maybe while in jail she can knit socks to keep herself occupied. And just perhaps, maybe someday, Dollar General will have my photo hanging up as Customer of the Month.

Carey On...